sirius orion

lilyjpotter-deactivated20171013 lilyjpotter-deactivated20171013

poppypomfrey:
yes but like. don’t imagine james potter and sirius black having a planking contest
#i mean #i’m talkin like punches and jibes being thrown abt james’s quidditch ability #and the somewhat questionable way sirius seems to stay at the top of his fitness game regardless of whether he’s working out or not #(he puts it down to genetics but according to james there’s no way any normal human being can do fifty situps in a row after not having exercised for two years) #and all i’m saying is that remus is sitting idly on the couch reading the prophet or smth and says ‘care to test that theory’ #and sirius is on the floor wearing a shit-eating grin #and he looks back to james #who looks up at moony with a thoughtful expression on his face #’….what did you have in mind?’ #remus closes the newspaper and sighs and rests his elbows on his knees and says ‘planking contest’ #james and sirius are still looking at him when they say ‘planking contest??’ #they look back at each other with identical expressions of malice on their faces and say it in agreement #‘planking contest’ #’oh dear’ ‘oh dear is right pete’ #the shit talking omg #THE SHIT TALKING #’you’re going down old man’ #’says the grandma who hasn’t worked out in fifty eight years’ #’my grandma is very fit thank you’ #’your grandma’s dead’ #’she could whoop your ass from her grave thank you very much potter’ #sirius and james separate to get ready with remus in james’s corner and pete in sirius’s #’ok potter. this is it. the moment you’ve been waiting for your whole life. kick. his. ass.’ #james gets all hyped and starts jogging on the spot and goes off with his towel around his shoulders #remus calls after him at the last second ‘also i bet sirius 20 galleons that you’d win so it’s all down to you potter’ #meanwhile pete and sirius are just sitting in silence and there’s a pout plastered across sirius’s lips bc like. he knows he’s going to win. pete knows it. james knows it. everyone knows it. #remus probably dings a bell really dramatically and sirius stands up and looks back at pete like ‘any last advice?’ #pete fumbles and is kinda like ‘just get in a few good punches i guess??’ #’pete it’s a planking competition not a back-alley fist-fight’ #’right, right’ #they all convene in the common room and james is in an old t-shirt and a pair of workout shorts #sirius is bedecked in some of the most ridiuclous, luridly-coloured pilates gear any of them have ever seen #(i mean, it’s the 70′s after all) #it’s complete with arm-bands and all #none of them choose to comment but remus seems to get a message out to the entire seventh year that sirius black is wearing a sleeveless unitard #a small crowd gatheres in the common room #remus is edjudicator as always #a timer is set #there’s a countdown that holds more weight than the 11:59 strike last new year’s eve #they begin and sirius black and james potter lift their butts in the air #and throughout the whole first two mintutes they seem to be able to fire insults back at each other #three minutes in and sirius black is starting to shake #remus as always is providing flawless commentary #’and it seems black is struggling’ #’fuck you lupin’ #’i could have you disqualified for foul language mr black’ #sirius groans #i mean #g r o a n s #’do your worst, lupin’ #three minutes thirty and there’s a small chant growing #coming up to the four minute mark and remus is detecting a tremble in james’s abdomen #sirius crashes #james has been silent for a very long time but then makes a jibe about sirius’s deteriorating form and then he b r e a k s #sirius’s knees buckle and he just bows down #’i’m out. i’m out.’ #’AAAAAND SIRIUS BLACK IS D O N E’ #he has to get up and retreat to the back of the crowd to watch bc like #he’s devo obvs but he’s like. got to be there to support his bro jamie #and to make some remarks on how ‘POTTER KEEP THAT GODDAMN PELVIS IN THE AIR’ #’FUCK YOU BLACK’ #coming up to five mintues and lily evans walks in #and she is like #bereaved #because there’s james #and he’s groaning and his jawline is set he’s covered in sweat #his forearms are braced on the crimson carpet and his corded biceps are flexed and his threadbare, transparent t-shirt is clinging to his back #and the sight of him #his quads straining and his torso #slick and muscled and trembling #is enough for her to have to have to excuse herself and go lock herself in the bathroom for twenty minutes #and she misses the grand finale #of james potter’s knees buckling at six minutes thirty-nine seconds #and he’s covered in sweat and grinning and looking around #and sirius is just slouched against a wall, looking nothing like he was planking to save his life like three minutes ago #he heads over to him #’i still think i look better in workout gear than you do’ #’you wanna bet’ #’SPEAKING OF’ #remus bounds over to them with his brown eyes alight and an expression of glee pasted across his face #’i believe both of you owe me’ #’what the fuck are you on about lupin’ #’i betted each of you that james would win and sirius would loose. so like. you both owe me.’ #’lupin, you little shit’ #they all guffaw and chase each other around the common room #lily emerges from the bathroom with flushed cheeks and takes one look at james and has to disappear again #james disappears to check on evans and take a shower #’…at the same time?’ #’it’s james and lily you tell me’ #basically it’s a riot and james potter is fit as fuck #how did i just mangage to write a 50-page essay on james potter and sirius black having a fucking planking contest